Dear Lord,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change right now and by that I mean the fact that my puppy has not quite grasped the concept of potty training yet.
I know, I know. I’ve only had him for a month and in his defense, he has been doing OK with it. But for the love of you, if I have to clean up one more puddle of pee I may invest in a litter box.
Give me the humbleness to praise him when he does gesture to go outside and successfully goes potty in the dead grass outside my apartment building, and give me all the patience in the world to not yell too badly when he trots over to me in the kitchen, stares me dead in the eye, and squats right then and there.
Bring me strength oh lord to give him credit for the fact that he does have standards and doesn’t shit in his kennel. And please remind me not to lecture him about all of the money mommy is spending on puppy pads. He does not understand such first world problems.
Let me stay chipper, even when he wakes me up at 3 a.m. to go outside only to discover that he’s already piddled in his kennel by the time I put on pants and find my glasses.
Don’t let me be upset with him when he goes potty in my car. It was an accident and I too get anxious about things sometimes. He will one day be better at controlling his bladder. I hope.
Give me the poise I need when I take him outside and get stopped by an overly friendly neighbor to say, “excuse me but my dog is about to piss on this common area carpet so I suggest you get out of my way immediately. And no, you cannot pick him up.”
And finally, lord, when I do get frustrated, let it not be with him but with myself. For I chose to get a beagle knowing full well how damn stubborn they are.
And, yes, I know dogs take on the personalities of their owners, so I have really brought it upon myself bringing this furry monster into my home. But damn is he cute.
Amen.
I believe that true love lasts a lifetime. There are only a few things I’ve been in love with my whole life:
Twenty-two years. That’s how long Foo has been a band. And last Friday was the first time they had ever come to Des Moines, maybe even Iowa. So needless to say, the over 14,000 people that were in the arena with us were excited. And there’s nothing better than a crowd with that much energy. But we also all knew from the moment the set started that something was a little off, even if we had never seen them live before.
I was in the parking lot of our Catholic school at recess playing with a classmate that will remain unnamed. If memory serves me correctly, she was trying to convince me to follow her around and perform random tasks for her. Why is that always a stage kids go through? Just like adult Steph, little second grade Steph was not happy about being pushed around. Unlike adult Steph, second grade Steph was painfully shy and afraid to stand up for herself. Lucky for her, Audrey was not far away, observing what was happening. She marched up to me and the classmate and said to me, “you know you don’t have to do what she says if you don’t want to?”
